I'm stuck on prefabricated personalities: I repent I have been a giver to manipulate how people see me, but at the same time I thought it was a gift from God.
I have done anonymous donations, but not in most cases- how do you gage motive? I'd want my friend to know I supported them - is that wrong? I give to counter being deprived as a child, or out of guilt that I am blessed with a family, or giving when we don't have the money but feel bad we have a paycheck coming vs someone else doesn't, or I offer of my time to "rescue a person". When do you take action - hard to decipher "who" I am obeying when I give.
Have I been fabricating my identity thinking giving was a gift from God when it was me instead? It is scary to feel like if I remove all generosity in my past, that I am left with wondering who would be in my life if I had never given them anything.
I was reading romans 12: 1-13 this morning. I know God is trying to help me understand but I am still confused. It's hard for me to purely give for God only. Even the things I have done anonymously, I play in my head how I would respond if they figured it out so God got the glory, but in those daydreaming the enemy stirs something in me that wonders what they would think of me if they found out.
I know I am a child of God but beyond that, what do I really enjoy, what are my real interests, and who would like me if I never gave anything to them again?
I was just considering the words to the song Mae shared with us last night. The more I read those lyrics, the more I see how some of the words are a beautiful song to US, God's babies.
Receive this as the Lord singing it over you! ---------------------------------- I want to sing you a love song For YOU are the love of my life (yes, we are the love of God's life!) Rhythm and rhyme try to explain it No matter how hard I try, I can't contain it
I am in love with the way that you are you! (He created us and all that he does is GOOD)
------------------------------------------- Bless you as you consider these words that God speaks over you.
I have a question about receiving from God. As Krissy was talking about receiving from God, and just sit and be and receive, I realized I have no idea how to do that or what it feels like. I feel like I should know this, or how to do this, but it was like somebody asked me to speak Russian because I have no idea what this means. Thanks, Nikki
Great question, Nikki! I'd love to hear lots of ideas on this, but here are a few thoughts, top of mind -
1. Make time to be with God. If I want to connect with a friend, I schedule a lunch appointment. If I want to connect with my husband, we go on a date. If I want to receive from God, I set aside time to be with him. 2. Worship. So, what do you do once you have this time with God? You worship. How do you do that? Well, maybe start with the CD I gave you. Sing songs to him. Just sit quietly and listen. 3. Ask him to show his love to you. Matt 7:11 says "If you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him." Ask him to love you in specific ways you will appreciate; he will do it. 4. Pray. Sit and be with God. Talk to him. Pray with your spirit and your mind (See 1 Cor 14 for more.) Have a conversation with him. 5. Receive from the Body. We receive God's love through the Body. Be in the practice of receiving from people. When people offer you something, say thank you and receive it.
Sherry - this is a hard question. I'm not totally sure, but I'll take a stab...last night I talked about "doing love." We think we know what love "looks like" so then we act it out. You're saying here that you know that you sometimes give to be liked (or loved), and that is not what God wants. 2 Cor 9:7 says "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or out of compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." When you discern that you are giving out of a compulsion to be liked, stop; don't do it. That will not please God. And I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that people will keep liking you even if you don't give all the time (and if they don't, you don't want them any who.) The hardest part of the question is that it's about the disposition of your heart, the motivation that is key, and only you and the Lord know that.
Sherry, Your desire to give, and the personality of a giver, is probably a gift from the Lord in you. Yet even in our gifts, our flesh can seep in... that does not mean the gift is not valid. Romans 11:29 says that God's gifts and callings are irrevocable. So, whether we are using our gifts purely or not, they are still God given gifts.
I think your struggle in giving (to want to be liked or recognized in some way) is not unique to just you. Matthew 6 addresses this:
2"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
I think it's fascinating that it says to barely let ourselves know what we are doing! (not letting your left hand know what your right hand is doing). Obviously, God knew people struggled with motives when it comes to giving.
I think for right now, it would be good for you to go into a season where you are asking God in every giving opportunity if this is a place you should give. if you get the green light, I would make it in secret, if possible, and receive your reward from the Lord (per Matt 6), which is more valuable whatever approval another person can give. The reason I suggest this is that sometimes, whenever we are trying to "walk out" of a behavior/pattern, it's good for us to swing all the way to the other side for a while, so that we can, after time, achieve balance and land in the middle.
I just want you to know that the whole idea of Receiving is probably foreign to most followers of Christ... it's just something we're not taught very much of at all in church settings (or anywhere else). It's like we're told to receive Christ as your savior, and then the rest of the time, we're told that we need to give and serve God. But it's all backwards... the most important thing we can "do" for Jesus is to believe and receive. We can only give and minister out of what we're received, so if we've never received his true love, grace and reception of us, it's hard to serve out of that love... rather, it becomes serving out of obligation or a desire to be approved of by God because we've never received the fact that we already are.
Anyway, all that to say, you're not alone! Receiving from God is spiritual discipline we have to learn to do. I love all of the way Krissy suggests. Here's a couple more:
1. Mediate on his great love for you. Consider the passages we've studied that say you are A SON OF GOD and consider the amazing privileges that comes with that. 2. Sometimes I receive God's love for me on a walk... when I see all of the beautiful nature that God created for me to enjoy. 3. I know this may sound silly, but sometimes when I take a bubble bath, I pretend that water is God's love and I just soak in it.
He loves you, Nikki! I hope you will experiences more and more moments where his loves breaks in.
I'm stuck on prefabricated personalities: I repent I have been a giver to manipulate how people see me, but at the same time I thought it was a gift from God.
ReplyDeleteI have done anonymous donations, but not in most cases- how do you gage motive? I'd want my friend to know I supported them - is that wrong? I give to counter being deprived as a child, or out of guilt that I am blessed with a family, or giving when we don't have the money but feel bad we have a paycheck coming vs someone else doesn't, or I offer of my time to "rescue a person". When do you take action - hard to decipher "who" I am obeying when I give.
Have I been fabricating my identity thinking giving was a gift from God when it was me instead? It is scary to feel like if I remove all generosity in my past, that I am left with wondering who would be in my life if I had never given them anything.
I was reading romans 12: 1-13 this morning. I know God is trying to help me understand but I am still confused. It's hard for me to purely give for God only. Even the things I have done anonymously, I play in my head how I would respond if they figured it out so God got the glory, but in those daydreaming the enemy stirs something in me that wonders what they would think of me if they found out.
I know I am a child of God but beyond that, what do I really enjoy, what are my real interests, and who would like me if I never gave anything to them again?
Sherry
I was just considering the words to the song Mae shared with us last night. The more I read those lyrics, the more I see how some of the words are a beautiful song to US, God's babies.
ReplyDeleteReceive this as the Lord singing it over you!
----------------------------------
I want to sing you a love song
For YOU are the love of my life (yes, we are the love of God's life!)
Rhythm and rhyme try to explain it
No matter how hard I try, I can't contain it
I am in love with the way that you are you! (He created us and all that he does is GOOD)
-------------------------------------------
Bless you as you consider these words that God speaks over you.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI have a question about receiving from God. As Krissy was talking about receiving from God, and just sit and be and receive, I realized I have no idea how to do that or what it feels like. I feel like I should know this, or how to do this, but it was like somebody asked me to speak Russian because I have no idea what this means.
ReplyDeleteThanks,
Nikki
Great question, Nikki! I'd love to hear lots of ideas on this, but here are a few thoughts, top of mind -
ReplyDelete1. Make time to be with God. If I want to connect with a friend, I schedule a lunch appointment. If I want to connect with my husband, we go on a date. If I want to receive from God, I set aside time to be with him.
2. Worship. So, what do you do once you have this time with God? You worship. How do you do that? Well, maybe start with the CD I gave you. Sing songs to him. Just sit quietly and listen.
3. Ask him to show his love to you. Matt 7:11 says "If you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him." Ask him to love you in specific ways you will appreciate; he will do it.
4. Pray. Sit and be with God. Talk to him. Pray with your spirit and your mind (See 1 Cor 14 for more.) Have a conversation with him.
5. Receive from the Body. We receive God's love through the Body. Be in the practice of receiving from people. When people offer you something, say thank you and receive it.
Those are my thoughts. Others?
Sherry - this is a hard question. I'm not totally sure, but I'll take a stab...last night I talked about "doing love." We think we know what love "looks like" so then we act it out. You're saying here that you know that you sometimes give to be liked (or loved), and that is not what God wants. 2 Cor 9:7 says "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or out of compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." When you discern that you are giving out of a compulsion to be liked, stop; don't do it. That will not please God. And I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that people will keep liking you even if you don't give all the time (and if they don't, you don't want them any who.) The hardest part of the question is that it's about the disposition of your heart, the motivation that is key, and only you and the Lord know that.
ReplyDeleteSherry,
ReplyDeleteYour desire to give, and the personality of a giver, is probably a gift from the Lord in you. Yet even in our gifts, our flesh can seep in... that does not mean the gift is not valid. Romans 11:29 says that God's gifts and callings are irrevocable. So, whether we are using our gifts purely or not, they are still God given gifts.
I think your struggle in giving (to want to be liked or recognized in some way) is not unique to just you. Matthew 6 addresses this:
2"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
I think it's fascinating that it says to barely let ourselves know what we are doing! (not letting your left hand know what your right hand is doing). Obviously, God knew people struggled with motives when it comes to giving.
I think for right now, it would be good for you to go into a season where you are asking God in every giving opportunity if this is a place you should give. if you get the green light, I would make it in secret, if possible, and receive your reward from the Lord (per Matt 6), which is more valuable whatever approval another person can give.
The reason I suggest this is that sometimes, whenever we are trying to "walk out" of a behavior/pattern, it's good for us to swing all the way to the other side for a while, so that we can, after time, achieve balance and land in the middle.
bless you, Sherry!
Nikki,
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that the whole idea of Receiving is probably foreign to most followers of Christ... it's just something we're not taught very much of at all in church settings (or anywhere else). It's like we're told to receive Christ as your savior, and then the rest of the time, we're told that we need to give and serve God. But it's all backwards... the most important thing we can "do" for Jesus is to believe and receive.
We can only give and minister out of what we're received, so if we've never received his true love, grace and reception of us, it's hard to serve out of that love... rather, it becomes serving out of obligation or a desire to be approved of by God because we've never received the fact that we already are.
Anyway, all that to say, you're not alone! Receiving from God is spiritual discipline we have to learn to do.
I love all of the way Krissy suggests. Here's a couple more:
1. Mediate on his great love for you.
Consider the passages we've studied that say you are A SON OF GOD and consider the amazing privileges that comes with that.
2. Sometimes I receive God's love for me on a walk... when I see all of the beautiful nature that God created for me to enjoy.
3. I know this may sound silly, but sometimes when I take a bubble bath, I pretend that water is God's love and I just soak in it.
He loves you, Nikki! I hope you will experiences more and more moments where his loves breaks in.