This is a companion to Kelly Russell's lecture...
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Mother's Blessing
My dear sweet baby girl,
My heart was overflowing from the first moment I saw you. You were born to be the redemption of everything I wasn’t able to receive from my own parents. As I held you in my arms I was amazed by the thought that God would give me someone to love as precious as you. I was overwhelmed by the desire to love you with everything in me, but I just didn’t know how.
You were a picture of beauty, a reflection of God’s perfection right down to your kissable little lips. At that moment I wanted to give you all of my heart, even the places that I had kept hidden from the world my whole life. The places I didn’t even know existed because they were taken from me before I knew they were there.
I love you daughter! I wanted so much to receive all that you had to give the world, but I was too consumed in my own pain and insecurities to embrace you.
I am sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed to be held, or when you just needed someone to listen. I’m sorry I didn’t take the time to learn you and the needs of your heart. I am sorry if I used you to meet my needs. I couldn’t give you what I didn’t have myself to give.
I am sorry if I ever made you feel you weren’t enough; not smart enough, thin enough, beautiful enough, popular enough, compliant enough, not perfect enough. You were always enough, I just needed someone to blame for by own unhappiness.
I am sorry if I ever made you feel you were too much; too loud, too crazy, too big, too emotional, too quiet, too imperfect. You were everything God made you to be and I loved all of it, I just didn’t know what to do with all of the freedom you had in facing the world, when I felt so trapped in the prison of mine.
Daughter, there are so many things that I want to say to you. So many things that I know you have waited to hear. I remember the moments when you would look at me with those eyes just waiting for me to search your heart and speak words of comfort and truth. I know now, that when you soon grew into a young lady and began to push me away, what you really wanted was for me to pull you closer. You were begging me to care enough to break in and rescue you from your own pain, but I stood silent, a spectator at you pain and loneliness because I was too afraid that I had nothing to give you. Afraid that I would mess up once again. I see now that all you wanted was me! You just wanted a mom who cared enough to fight for you, weaknesses and all. I am sorry I couldn’t give that to you.
What you need to hear my sweet one is that you are loved. You are chosen. You are perfectly imperfect. You were created to be everything that you are and I pray that your heavenly father shows you the fullness of who that was before the lies of this world showed you differently. You are a wonderful daughter. You are a cherished friend. You are beautiful through and through. You are everything I wanted in a daughter and more. Your life is precious to me.
I bless you daughter to be the mother that you are called to be through our Heavenly Father. I know he will lead you and teach you all that I wasn’t able to. Receive from Him, he knows your heart and gifts better than anyone. I bless you to be fruitful and multiply, physically and spiritually. I speak life into your innermost parts- that you would receive. Your body would physically receive all of the children that the Lord has for you and that your heart would receive all of the daughters that are your spiritual inheritance in His Kingdom. I bless you to know the hearts of your daughters. I bless you to be a freedom fighter for their hearts, breaking the lies that have been passed down generations before me. I bless you with wisdom to know the Lords heart and what He desires and the discernment to know His truth over the lies of the enemy. I speak restoration over you that you would be restored to the childlike freedom you had years ago. Live in the fullness of who you were then, today. The fullness of you is so beautiful and radiant! Live arms wide open, face to the sun, spinning in giddiness, just like when you were a little girl. I give that joy back to you now, it is yours to live in! You are received by me and into the body of Christ, child. You are the redemption of all that God has for His daughters, receive your inheritance in Him! I love you, yesterday, today and always!
My heart was overflowing from the first moment I saw you. You were born to be the redemption of everything I wasn’t able to receive from my own parents. As I held you in my arms I was amazed by the thought that God would give me someone to love as precious as you. I was overwhelmed by the desire to love you with everything in me, but I just didn’t know how.
You were a picture of beauty, a reflection of God’s perfection right down to your kissable little lips. At that moment I wanted to give you all of my heart, even the places that I had kept hidden from the world my whole life. The places I didn’t even know existed because they were taken from me before I knew they were there.
I love you daughter! I wanted so much to receive all that you had to give the world, but I was too consumed in my own pain and insecurities to embrace you.
I am sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed to be held, or when you just needed someone to listen. I’m sorry I didn’t take the time to learn you and the needs of your heart. I am sorry if I used you to meet my needs. I couldn’t give you what I didn’t have myself to give.
I am sorry if I ever made you feel you weren’t enough; not smart enough, thin enough, beautiful enough, popular enough, compliant enough, not perfect enough. You were always enough, I just needed someone to blame for by own unhappiness.
I am sorry if I ever made you feel you were too much; too loud, too crazy, too big, too emotional, too quiet, too imperfect. You were everything God made you to be and I loved all of it, I just didn’t know what to do with all of the freedom you had in facing the world, when I felt so trapped in the prison of mine.
Daughter, there are so many things that I want to say to you. So many things that I know you have waited to hear. I remember the moments when you would look at me with those eyes just waiting for me to search your heart and speak words of comfort and truth. I know now, that when you soon grew into a young lady and began to push me away, what you really wanted was for me to pull you closer. You were begging me to care enough to break in and rescue you from your own pain, but I stood silent, a spectator at you pain and loneliness because I was too afraid that I had nothing to give you. Afraid that I would mess up once again. I see now that all you wanted was me! You just wanted a mom who cared enough to fight for you, weaknesses and all. I am sorry I couldn’t give that to you.
What you need to hear my sweet one is that you are loved. You are chosen. You are perfectly imperfect. You were created to be everything that you are and I pray that your heavenly father shows you the fullness of who that was before the lies of this world showed you differently. You are a wonderful daughter. You are a cherished friend. You are beautiful through and through. You are everything I wanted in a daughter and more. Your life is precious to me.
I bless you daughter to be the mother that you are called to be through our Heavenly Father. I know he will lead you and teach you all that I wasn’t able to. Receive from Him, he knows your heart and gifts better than anyone. I bless you to be fruitful and multiply, physically and spiritually. I speak life into your innermost parts- that you would receive. Your body would physically receive all of the children that the Lord has for you and that your heart would receive all of the daughters that are your spiritual inheritance in His Kingdom. I bless you to know the hearts of your daughters. I bless you to be a freedom fighter for their hearts, breaking the lies that have been passed down generations before me. I bless you with wisdom to know the Lords heart and what He desires and the discernment to know His truth over the lies of the enemy. I speak restoration over you that you would be restored to the childlike freedom you had years ago. Live in the fullness of who you were then, today. The fullness of you is so beautiful and radiant! Live arms wide open, face to the sun, spinning in giddiness, just like when you were a little girl. I give that joy back to you now, it is yours to live in! You are received by me and into the body of Christ, child. You are the redemption of all that God has for His daughters, receive your inheritance in Him! I love you, yesterday, today and always!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
A Father's Blessing
My daughter: I love you. You were a blessing to me before you were even born. God Himself chose you to be a girl, and I love that about you. Your femininity is perfect, and you were made to show the world a picture of the beauty of Jesus’ church. I adore you. You are beautiful. I have been watching you since the day you were born. I am your greatest fan and a dedicated student of you. I see who God made you to be, and it is wonderful. You are gifted. You are unique. You are talented. There is nobody like you!
I apologize, my daughter, for every time that I communicated anything less that this. For every time that I let you down, didn’t show up, or was silent when I should have spoken, I ask forgiveness. For every time when I made you feel sorry for who you are, I apologize. You deserve cheering from your father. You deserve all the counsel my years could produce. You deserve to have your hand held by a man who will protect you and lead you... And I have not always done that. Please understand, I was wounded, myself. I have been attacked, and I have made dark agreements with the enemy who has sought to destroy me, too. And I know I’ve passed some of those chains on to you through my actions as well as my inactivity. I did all I knew to do. Even when I was angry or short or condescending or stoic, I just did what I knew to do. That doesn’t make it all right, but I need you to understand me. Please forgive me for every way I have ever failed you—and I know that I have failed you.
I wish we could go back and you could crawl up into my lap and we could just talk about nothing while I play with your hair. I wish I could push you on a swing and buy you an ice cream cone. If you’ll receive it into your heart, I give you those things now. May God undo all the damage done by me; may He apply the salve of his grace on all those scars. And may you have the courage to forgive me and receive His love in all the places where my love lacked.
I give you my blessing, daughter. I bless you with the strength of womanhood. I bless you with the confidence that comes from knowing that you have a father who believes in you. I bless you with the radiance that comes from a pure heart that’s been washed by love. I bless you with joy that lets you laugh about the future. I bless you with a house full of peace, patience, and goodness. You are my daughter, and you are my delight.
I love you.
I apologize, my daughter, for every time that I communicated anything less that this. For every time that I let you down, didn’t show up, or was silent when I should have spoken, I ask forgiveness. For every time when I made you feel sorry for who you are, I apologize. You deserve cheering from your father. You deserve all the counsel my years could produce. You deserve to have your hand held by a man who will protect you and lead you... And I have not always done that. Please understand, I was wounded, myself. I have been attacked, and I have made dark agreements with the enemy who has sought to destroy me, too. And I know I’ve passed some of those chains on to you through my actions as well as my inactivity. I did all I knew to do. Even when I was angry or short or condescending or stoic, I just did what I knew to do. That doesn’t make it all right, but I need you to understand me. Please forgive me for every way I have ever failed you—and I know that I have failed you.
I wish we could go back and you could crawl up into my lap and we could just talk about nothing while I play with your hair. I wish I could push you on a swing and buy you an ice cream cone. If you’ll receive it into your heart, I give you those things now. May God undo all the damage done by me; may He apply the salve of his grace on all those scars. And may you have the courage to forgive me and receive His love in all the places where my love lacked.
I give you my blessing, daughter. I bless you with the strength of womanhood. I bless you with the confidence that comes from knowing that you have a father who believes in you. I bless you with the radiance that comes from a pure heart that’s been washed by love. I bless you with joy that lets you laugh about the future. I bless you with a house full of peace, patience, and goodness. You are my daughter, and you are my delight.
I love you.
Rejection Homework
These questions are to consider this week and discuss in break out groups...
CONSIDER THIS WEEK
When have I felt abandoned by mom or dad? Spouse? God?
Whose opinion of me do I most value?
Where in my life do I not feel received/that I belong?
When was the last time someone tried to correct me? Was I able to receive it? How’d it go?
How do I define my success? What defines me? (Is it your job? Is it what your parents thought or think of you? Is it what your friends think of you? Is it how well you perform in the workplace? How much money you have? Is it what you think of yourself? Is it what your body looks like?) When you die, will those things continue to define who you are?
Why have I not fully received acceptance of me as God offers it?
Do I really believe I am God’s favorite one?
CONSIDER THIS WEEK
When have I felt abandoned by mom or dad? Spouse? God?
Whose opinion of me do I most value?
Where in my life do I not feel received/that I belong?
When was the last time someone tried to correct me? Was I able to receive it? How’d it go?
How do I define my success? What defines me? (Is it your job? Is it what your parents thought or think of you? Is it what your friends think of you? Is it how well you perform in the workplace? How much money you have? Is it what you think of yourself? Is it what your body looks like?) When you die, will those things continue to define who you are?
Why have I not fully received acceptance of me as God offers it?
Do I really believe I am God’s favorite one?
Monday, June 15, 2009
Rejection Lecture/Mary Senff
Mary did an excellent job tonight walking us through the LORD's words regarding the spirit of rejection, then walked us through a powerful time of receiving healing. Did it bring up any thoughts? Questions? Get talking!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Worship Night Scheduled!
ladies!
We've scheduled a worship and celebration night for Wednesday August 5, after our class ends! It'll be for us (and spouses) as well as the men's strongholds class (which my husband Steven is teaching concurrently with ours) and their spouses, and also for other people in our community who just want to get together and rejoice in God's goodness toward us.
We just don't have the time to worship together like we'd really like to do, so we thought we'd set aside a special night for it. Steven will be leading us in some worship, and is trying to get a band together- I expect the music to be really good!
This is just a heads-up so that people can start marking their calendars, arranging babysitting... all that good stuff!
We've scheduled a worship and celebration night for Wednesday August 5, after our class ends! It'll be for us (and spouses) as well as the men's strongholds class (which my husband Steven is teaching concurrently with ours) and their spouses, and also for other people in our community who just want to get together and rejoice in God's goodness toward us.
We just don't have the time to worship together like we'd really like to do, so we thought we'd set aside a special night for it. Steven will be leading us in some worship, and is trying to get a band together- I expect the music to be really good!
This is just a heads-up so that people can start marking their calendars, arranging babysitting... all that good stuff!
Monday, June 1, 2009
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